Holding our miracle infant in the palm of our hands

A week ago, my husband and I experienced the birth of our son, Azaiah, who was still a baby. Our hearts ache as we say goodbye to a life full of hope and love. Our journey to parenthood was shaped by three years of infertility. The moment we received the positive pregnancy test in August, our joy was unbounded.

The event was miraculous, and we were thrilled to become parents. During my pregnancy, I experienced severe nausea and vomiting that persisted until birth. Though uncomfortable, I remained steadfast, believing every moment of our marriage would be worth it once we had our precious baby in our arms. However, fate had other plans for us, and our dreams were dashed when I experienced premature labor at 20 weeks and 1 day.

After having our son, Azaiah, in our arms, we sought answers to why this time was so important. Both he and I were in perfect health, making his passing even more puzzling. A phenomenon that is difficult to comprehend and cannot be fully explained by words. Having a child is a unique and profound experience that leaves an indescribable void in our lives.

My desire to become a parent has been ingrained in me since childhood. I aspire to be a mother, and in a way, I am, even though my child is no longer with us. However, the story of Azaiah is overwhelming, and the idea of future pregnancies is terrifying. In times of great grief and uncertainty, I find comfort in the support of my husband and loved ones.

Their presence and empathy guide me through this difficult time, and I am grateful to all who have supported me during this difficult time. While we may not have all the answers, we cherish the time we spent with Azaiah. He brought immense joy and meaning to our lives, even in his brief existence. We cherish the memories and love we shared with our precious baby boy, cherishing our time together.

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